Narutale: Pitch-black version
by Preferably Bitter 52
Summary: *spin off from Narutale as the title suggest* The sinister yet dryly sarcastic Menma details the complete retelling of Naruto's adventures in the Undertale world through his eyes.


**Disclaimer: Naruto (Masashi kishimoto) and Undertale (Toby fox) both belong to their respective owners.**

 _'Menma'_ = thoughts

Menma= normal

Xx= short cut/break XxxxXxx= long cut/break

 _Menma_ = narrative

 **This'll mark the first time I'm trying first-person writing and a parody if that fits at all. Here goes...**

* * *

 **Part 1**

Chapter 1: His Arrival

 _Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: Humans and Monsters_

 _One day, war broke out between the two races_

 _After a long battle, the humans were victorious_

 _They sealed the monsters underground with a powerful jutsu_

 _At least..._

 _That's how I remember them telling me_

* * *

Many years later...

In all my years of dwelling in this hole I've never seen a kid so astronomically idiotic.

Like the other fifty-something humans who've fallen down here, I quietly possess them. Hoping one day, their determination would be powerful enough to eradicate all the monsters. It hasn't worked, the humans just die off too quickly. So I guess it's idiotic on my part to think that this one would be any different.

But he's a part of my clan, right? He _had_ to be different.

 _Xx_

I was in my usual spot, a few inches from my grave, pretending Asriel didn't die a century ago. It's how I usually pass the time in the grueling intervals between human arrival and death, that or I stalk the residents. Times like those I wish I could've been a ghost, not some wandering spirit unable to physically manifest in the tangible world. Possessing humans is the only way I ever felt like I was alive, I can feel the blood pumping through their vein, the adrenaline rushing, the fear oozing from their body every step they traverse.

The experience is other worldly. So when the human came falling down, I didn't think, I moved, the ecstasy pulled me inside their body.

God, that was a mistake.

Just as I was getting used to the new environment, a thunderous and somewhat groggy voice greeted me. "...Where the hell did you come from?" It asked.

I turned around, quickly realizing my 'home' would have to be shared by a giant, bright orange fox. "You must be one of the tailed beast," I said, absent-minded. It's been a...while...since I've talked to something sentiment, of course that was the first thing that came out of my mouth. Something dumb.

He briefly studied me then gave me a look that made me feel kind of fidgety. "Nah, you're not Naruto, you got black hair."

Who the hell is Naruto?

"I guess you can't free me since you're not that brat,"

What is he talking about?

"So what are ya?"

It finally registered to me that I hadn't the clue what the human looked like, I was far too excited at the time to take in the physical features, but the way he's describing it, he looks exactly like me. "I'm a spirit, I guess, who's possessing this human... _Naruto's_ , body."

"Sounds good to me, kukuku." His laugh made me wonder if all beast laughed so weirdly. Probably. About the time when he finished his weird cackle and nodded off, I heard yet another weird cackle; Flowey's.

As far as I knew, Flowey was the only one aware of my existence, and he takes advantage of this perfectly. Whenever I could coax the human enough to kill, he immediately knew I was controlling them, so he'd always tried to converse with me, but I can't stand seeing him. He's a constant reminder of why I'm stuck here in the first place.

"Well, it's your lous-, _lucky_ day that little 'ol Flowey's here. How about I teach you the ropes?" Flowey said, I wasn't sure why he liked to put on this sappy act with every human, I hated that especially and he knew it,

"No."

"See that s-wait...NO?! What the heck are you saying, kid?!"

Naruto gave Flowey a disgustingly cheeky grin. "There's no way I'd wanna learn anything from a freak like you!"

"Y-you damn brat! You're going to die out there without my help and someone else is going to take your soul! _AND I CAN'T ALLOW THAT._ "

I'd never Flowey act like this, it wasn't quite anger, no, this time time there was a new layer of urgency laced in his voice _._ He must of known. Who wouldn't? It's almost impossible to _not_ feel the tailed beast's ferocious presence.

The game's changed now, Flowey was interested in the human.

"...my soul?" It was the only thing Naruto could pick out of the psychotic Flower's words, and the only thing he could say before being surrounded by an army of seeds. Naruto felt something powerful manifest on the side of his chest, his hand grazed over a small, but beaming red heart full of passion.

The seeds danced around Naruto on all sides, there was no way he could escape without getting pelted to death with the thousand of bullets. Of course, Flowey wasn't trying to kill the human, rather he was experimenting with him. I, on the other hand, was completely immersed with the idea of the Kyuubi breaking out, I figured his soul would be vulnerable then and I could physically control him.

Now that I think about it, actually controlling humans was the hardest part. Their soul had to be either weak or corrupted, otherwise I'm reduced to sitting in a sack of flesh the entire time. Even so, it's still better than the intervals.

"That's your soul right there!" Flowey said between chuckles. "It's weak, yes, but it can grow strong by gaining LV, or Love, and gaining EXP. How do you gain love? By getting touched with these friendly pellets! Hehe. They won't hurt you!"

That was it.

"The flower's a liar, kid, don't believe it," I said, under normal circumstances whenever I attempted communication with the human I posses, they always think it's their conscious or something and they barely listen to it.

But this wasn't a normal human nor under a normal circumstance.

"Stop cowering down! You want to earn love, don't you?! You want to grow stronger, right?! Then the ENTIRE underground will recognize you and...and..." His face started twisting into a more threatening expression, typical, usually it took him at least five minutes to break, this time it only took forty seconds. "And you won't be treated like the rightful scum you are!"

"...I..."

"HEHEHEHA! For the sake of everyone, JUST DIE!"

Nothing happened. He raised his head, the once menacing flower and his army were now replaced with the soothing darkness.

*patter

*patter

"Right on cue, Toriel," I muttered to myself.

Likewise with Flowey, Toriel also reminded me of why I'm stuck here I'm the first place. Though I hadn't hated her as much as that yellow weed. To me, she was the hardest to kill.

Naruto's ears perked to the sound of soft footsteps approaching him. He shot straight up and lunged for the incoming beast. "GET READY!"

"-oomph!"

"Are you...hugging me?" Toriel's asked, it was so soothing and gentle, his eyes wandered up. She was...well...some kind of goat thing. I never asked about it.

Naruto managed to tear himself away from the warmth to get a good, long, old-fashioned stare at her. "No, I...A-are...a...you..." He stammered, unable to complete his sentence.

Naruto didn't think it was possible, but she spoke in an even more gentle and soothing tone. "You don't have to be afraid any more, child. I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins, and I'm here to guide you."

"-Everyday I pass through this place to see if any newcomers have arrived, you're the first human to ever fall down here in a very long time. Come, I'll guide you through these catacombs."

Toriel just says that so the human won't away the second they meet her. I've seen it a thousand times, and here's another instance to add to the list. She doesn't even bother to change it up once in a while, but for some reason, it works every time.

Naruto followed Toriel to the next room, it was a room filled with roses and...determination. On both sides, a staircase spiraled towards the door.

Toriel stopped when they reached the next room. "The ruins are full of puzzles, child, you'll be encountering all sorts of them, solving these puzzles are key to moving from one room to the next and I want to teach you everything about them since you'll be living here." She moved over to a group of buttons by the door and stepped on the four outer ones, opening the door. "See?"

 _Xx_

I walked over to Kurama, who preferably kept one eye open when he slept, (possibly because I was here) and asked, "Are you awake?" My total lack of socializing skill showing.

"...grugh, what do you want, brat?"

I had a feeling if I told him my name, he still would've stool called me a brat anyways so I didn't bother. "What's keeping you from turning on the human's tailed beast powers."

"Minato."

I blinked, not knowing on earth who that was and replied like an idiot. "Huh?"

"The only chance I have to ever coming close of getting out of this prison is if Naruto experiences extreme emotion. Which has yet to happen, but since you're like possessing him or some shit, can't _you_ do something?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, which was feeling prickly. "His determination is too powerful, at the moment, all I can do is talk to him. You can do that too, I presume, am I correct, Kyuubi?"

"Yeah, well, maybe, I never bothered to try."

So that was it.

We were forced to depend on this excuse of a human for control...

 _Who the hell makes up this shit?_

 _Xx_

Toriel was at the most defining part: The dummy test.

I mean, it's kind of just for tutorials, but for me it's an indicator on how I easily I can take full control of the human. Depending on whether the human talks or fights the dummy can mean a variety of things. How long I'll stay, how much fun the stay will be, and most importantly, if I can control the human or not.

Most of the time, the humans, ninjas more specifically, succumb to their true nature and basic survival skills (although my actions always get undone somehow) and we do the only thing that brings me gratification: mass murder.

Though I wish they were humans, monsters are a close second.

I had high hopes for Naruto. Not only was he a jinchuriki but an Uzumaki too, there had to be something in him itching to murder...right?

"As a human, monsters may try to attack you and you'll engage in a fight. However, worry not, you don't have to fight said monster, you can simply strike up a friendly conversation," Toriel said.

"Huh?"

"I know it seems confusing, so why don't you try out your conversational skills on that old dummy over there."

"You want me to talk to a dummy? That's really stupid, y'know! How am I gonna get stronger from talking to it?"

"Stronger? That flower has filled you with nonsense. If you simply talk to it, you have the chance to become its _friend_. And in my opinion, that's a far more fulfilling reward than becoming-" She stopped, the child was gone.

"Huh? Little boy where did you-"

The boy was talking to the dummy.

"Hey! The name's Naruto! What's yours?"

Great.

Well, it only adds a few implications, nothing I can't work around.

"..."

"You're not up for conversation, huh?"

"..."

"Uh, that's enough, child." Toriel said. "I'm very proud of you, but I thought you didn't want to talk to the dummy." She teased.

His face was scarlet. "T-That's not true! I was just doing what you told me, Goat lady! Come on! Lemme talk to a real monster!"

"Alright, follow me."

The room followed was another long hallway with a twisted path that stretched all the way to the next door. He didn't stray from the path until he reached the very end where a frog was staring down at him. I'm still wondering why that thing ever passed as a 'monster'.

"The name's Naruto! Uh...I really like frogs?"

Froggit gave Naruto an I'm-really-trying-to-like-you-but-I'm-still-going-to-attack-you-anyways smile, he hopped towards the spiky blonde but stopped dead in his tracks. The deathly rays of Toriel pounding down on him was far too much for him to handle. At that point, his choice was either to face Toriel or hide in the corner.

Toriel's glare intensified.

So corner it was.

Naruto walked back to the safe comfort of Toriel, her warm, fuzzy paw wrapped around his hand. "This is the puzzle," Toriel explained, as they walked past the corridor. "I'm sorry for not mentioning it earlier." The puzzle consisted of an array of sharp spikes laid out across the floor.

A long time ago when life was worth living, Toriel used to take Asriel and I out back and let's us watch, emphasize on the _watch_ , while she set up these lame puzzles. It was painfully boring at first, however, over the years I took a special liking to them, I ended up even building a few, this one in fact, but Toriel changed it.

The puzzle was _supposed_ to be a flat plain and no matter what step you took, you would get impaled by spikes. I admit, it wasn't much of a puzzle, but come on, it was my first one. When I finished it, I showed everyone it and I offered Asriel to try it out. It wasn't a big hit.

At all...

 _Xx_

Toriel guided Naruto through my puzzle and into the next room, she stopped and he silently prepared for her next action. "I'm sorry, but I have something to ask you..."

"Can you please walk this room...by yourself...please forgive me." She shuffled off and swiftly hid behind a decaying pillar. I'm not sure why she made a big deal whenever she did this.

She felt a tug at her paw. The little child was standing before her, wearing a big, stupid smile on his face.

"Hiya, Goat lady!"

"You completed it so fast...!"

"Yeah? That challenge was way too easy for me anyways!"

"Well it looks like you've grown to be a very independent boy...uh...I'm sorry this is so sudden, but I have business I need to attend to and I must go alone. So please do not follow me, it's too dangerous to explore by yourself," Toriel pulled out a small, junky box and tucked it between Naruto's hands. "Here; it's a cell phone. If you need anything, just call." Then, just like that, Toriel left.

Naruto gave the cell phone a tight squeeze before cramming it inside his pocket, he adjusted his green goggles then grinned. "Heh, there's no way I'm staying in this smelly place!" And just like that, Naruto left.

Heh.

With determination like that, I'll probably never be in control.

* * *

 **Menma/Note: I can't believe you actually sat through this, what, was this your second choice behind Sans smut?**


End file.
